Don’t take it personally

In his book ‘The Four Agreements’ Don Miguel Ruiz introduces the principle that we should not take anything personal. Whatever we receive from another being isn’t personal but simply a projection of their own needs, wishes and expectations. This idea is similar to the NLP concept that ‘all perception is projection’.

What is important to me is less that an idea can be discussed at length but how it will affect my experience if I take it on board. I think this idea works well for at least two reasons:

We only perceive a fraction of the available field of reality

We are only conscious of up to 7 bits of reality at any given time. Whereas the sum total of our unconscious perception runs into the millions.

So if we are receiving a fraction, then it is the fraction that we are predisposed to notice. It is the fraction we habitually recognise and register. At any given moment how we respond says more about our personality than anything about our situation. All picking and choosing is the selection process of our conditioned mind and that conditioned mind is the source of limited pain and pleasure?

When we take things personally we lose our power

We lose our ability to respond in a way that does justice to our ever developing selves. We lose our ability to respond flexibly with an eye to the best possible outcome. Yes it may be true the other person is behaving like an utter ass but if we just simply become reactive then we too have caught the contagion. Tough to admit – But unless we possessed some assness within us that was similar in some way; how would we have recognised it so well to promote a strong reaction in ourselves?

What would be the result if we set some time aside and decided to live that time as though nothing was personal and every way we took something, felt about something, thought about something was 100% the projections of our personal film, taking place in our private cinema?

What would be left? Who would be the ‘me’ watching this magnificent conception/fabrication? How would it feel to be this me?

Solution focused psychology; NLP and hypnosis are powerful tools for positive change. If you would like to find out more or how I may benefit you, then do get in touch with me. I offer face to face and SKYPE sessions.

Be the change that makes the difference 🙂

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